Just as 2 > 1, so...

craigslist > ebay

pfsense > sonicwall

chocolate > vanilla

barebones nerd kit > consumer grade kit

Five Things

The five blessings I've received from _____________.

Increasing my scripture study:

1. A much better understanding of HOW the spirit speaks to me, and exactly what revelation from God looks, sounds, and feels like.
2. Calmness regarding "controversial" topics of the gospel. To the honest and earnest seeker, there is will be an answer.
3. An understanding of why a good cross-reference system is so important.
4. The food pyramid analogy that has served me so well and kept me from easy (and often incorrect) interpretation.
5. A greater understanding of what it means to be happy and content in a place of struggle and strife.

Increased physical conditioning:

1. No more shoulder pains. Which means no more sissy graphite shafts in my irons for golf. :)
2. No more lower back pain.
   
3. No more nagging muscle tears and associated injuries. I played softball without pain and it was GREAT.
4. Looking better in my clothes. I bought new jeans because my legs and butt got bigger. They fit nicer, as do most of the clothes I already owned. I look better out of my clothes too, which Maple appreciates. :)
5. More stamina for work and fun. I like being able to run around with my kids in the yard and make them all huff and puff while trying to catch me. Not bad for a guy closing in on 40.

Being married:

1. Having Maple in my life. She has been a great blessing to me in many ways, but of special mention is the calming influence that she has on me.
2. My children. I can't even get started on this, because I'd never stop. All of them, each one, deserves many paragraphs. From Apple's impish ways through Ash's stoic example, all of them bring me a smile.
3. Working toward a common goal, building lives together and improving surroundings. Something as simple as new windows brings excitement for the future.
4. Opportunities to serve that come to me. They allow me to show my love for Maple.
5. Being married to maple brings me contentment, and contributes to the happiness I feel in spite of the sometimes unhappy surroundings of life. Much like #5 from scripture study.
   

P90X 90th Day Results

Chest/Back (jacket size): +3.25"
Waist: -1"
Thighs: +1.75"
Calves: +1"
Upper arm: +1.5"
Forearm: +1"

Weight: +11 lbs, 171 to 182

Body fat estimate (caliper method): 13%

In short, it works. I still look like me, just a little more filled out.

The biggest changes come in the last 30 days of the program, and I was hampered by being out of town frequently and developing plantar fasciitis. I'm going to keep going for another 30 days to see what my "proper" results would be.

Program review wise, I'm pleased with it. The workouts are still hard to do even now, mostly because I've increased weight and reps to match my abilities. Here's my observations:

• It's the a good season-to-taste workout, because those of lower ability levels can simply do what they can, while those in great shape can push for more. It's definitely a general fitness program, not something geared toward "just" weight loss or "just" muscle building.
  
• Guys who are only looking to bulk up are going to be disappointed. A guy looking to get in overall better shape will be happy. Again, think FIT. There's still some ways to squeeze more bulk out of the program, but it has to be modified a little bit to accentuate that desire - and it's still not the same as hitting the gym specifically for heavy lifting work.
  
• Women though...that's really the largest target audience, I think. Take a woman who is in good physical shape already, put her through this, and she'll get HOT in no time. The balance of cardio, stretching, and weight resistance can easily be modified to get really, really good results for someone looking to get toned with a little bit more muscle while burning a lot of fat.
• As always, it's generally much easier to drop fat than to add muscle. This thing will burn fat if the diet of the person using it is right. Gaining weight, as I did, is A LOT of work.

The three things I added to be successful:

1. Used myfitnesspal.com to track caloric intake, broken down by fat/protein/carbs.
2. Protein supplement - switched to BSN's Syntha-6, which really, honestly, tastes good. Every other protein I've tried has tasted horrible.
   
3. Twinlabs amino fuel. Recent addition, but I get less fatigue the next day when I take it ~15-30 minutes before a workout.
   

randomized babblings

Have finished reading a book I bought about three weeks ago, 1491 by Charles Mann. In it, a very different picture is painted of the cultures of North and South America before Columbus (and their subsequent demise) than we receive in US public education. The revised picture is one of widespread populations (hearing Carl Sagan saying "millions and millions") which actively shaped land and environment. All in all, an excellent (if slightly zzzzzzzz inducing) read which gives a new appreciation for the prior inhabitants of the two continents. I took it slow and methodical - there's a lot of information to digest, and while the author does make it as exciting as he can, the subject matter is "documentary in print"-like in nature.

There have been some speculations on other blogs that this work might (accidentally) represent some validations for the Book of Mormon. While it probably does, I'd say it raises at least as many questions about the possibility of pinning the events in the Book of Mormon to any one pre-AD1500 culture specifically. So in broad application, the material is very supportive, but to anyone wishing to "prove" the Book of Mormon account truthful by identifying a specific pre-Columbian civilization, I don't think there will be much luck.

***

I love the days when every so often, I hit my second wind right at workout time. Makes me feel like I can do anything. I always wonder why it feels like that so rarely - most days I'm wishing for death very early on, despite doing my routine at the same time and in the same ways each time. Last night I not only did everything, but did it with considerably higher weight than usual. So much of exercise is mental. I just wish I could bottle up whatever I had going on last night. :)

***

Have I mentioned that I hate computers lately? This is bad for somebody who works in the computer field...

Also hating plantar fasciitis. Not cool.

On the plus side, loving my beautiful wife.

Also happy that new windows will be coming to our home soon. Signed the contract for that this past week. No more freezy cold beds by the windows in winter. :)

***

Doing more reading on the curses/marks topic. The more deeply I get immersed in it, the more I realize how flawed our "easy" interpretations of the scriptures lead us to be.

golf course + kids = ???

So I'm officially at the lowest handicap index I've ever had, 3.8. Previous low was 4.3, reached several times. Even worse, there are still a couple of high scores that are about to drop off, so it may crawl a bit lower before coming back to reality.

I took Redwood and Apple out to the golf course on Saturday, which was fun. They did great through the first half dozen holes or so - after that it got a bit hairy. Kids have impeccable timing for saying something crazy or making an odd noise right in the middle of teeing off. I love the sound of the gas pedal being pushed on the golf cart by a four year old girl right as I start my takeaway, don't you? I caught them before they rolled down the hill, but still...nothing like immediate fear of death for your children to make you flinch. :\

Apple found a few things this time - some flowers, a few squirrels. Redwood chased some geese, which he found hysterical. He also hit some really good golf shots - just a natural talent, it appears. He set up what he calls his "shot of doom" and would try to pull it off. That means hitting over a creek, or over a sand trap, or what have you. He executed the shot an alarmingly high percentage of time the for never having been outside of his own backyard with a golf club. The last thing we saw on the way back to the clubhouse (after 14 holes) were two baby deer...very young. Didn't see their momma though. The kids were tired and sweaty - they had fun, but were all done.

exercise update

I've been doing the P90X DVDs for six weeks now, thanks to a friend lending them to me.

In that six weeks, I've gained seven pounds. I've lost fat, gained muscle, and am generally just more studly than ever. :) I did one of the videos last night, Legs & Back, and was able to do 15 real, honest to goodness pullups with no assistance in one go. So in six weeks I've gone from eeking out #2 all the way to 15. Pushups...I can do 25 in one go, and probably more if I had to. My body is starting to show signs of change, I'm getting a V shape from my back and shoulder muscle group improvements.

All in all, I'm very pleased and proud of myself for sticking with it and working hard.

controversial topics

Of late I've been looking into some of the more controversial topics related to the church. It always amazes me (though it shouldn't) that each time I do so, there is less to see than I expected and the answer is more simple than I thought it would be.

A perfect example of this is the question of blacks and the priesthood (or lack of priesthood). I've heard many "explanations" of why the priesthood was withheld during the modern era until Official Declaration 2 was released in 1978. They run the gamut from blacks being the children of Cain (and thus cursed by his actions) to the lineage of the sons of Noah (Ham being the father of African nations, and cursed by his seeing Noah's pee-pee). There are those that believed (or parroted) that those spirits were not fully on-board with God's plan in the pre-mortal state, or were somehow less eager to follow the plan of God. All of the explanations I've heard are more than a bit of a stretch, with some small sprinkling of scriptural support for each. I can vaguely remember the release, but I was only seven at the time. It was a big deal at church, I recall that much. I remember Mom telling me at the time that it was a very happy thing that people had prayed to have come about. Anyway, of the many explanations given for why it was withheld previously, none of them felt authentic, even to my younger and less scripturally inclined self. That is to say, while they might have made some fashion of sense in their logical presentation, each left more questions than answers, each had holes logically, and none was backed up by the proper feeling of reinforcement from the spirit that I expected. I'm not exactly the first to have these misgivings (excerpt from http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_LDS_Church_and_the_Race_Issue.html):

"Indeed, it was apparent to many of us even four decades ago that certain scriptural passages used to explain the denial of priesthood to black members could not legitimately be so interpreted without an a priori narrative. Such a narrative was gradually constructed by the searching and inventive minds of early LDS apologists. With allusions to the books of Genesis, Moses, and Abraham, the scenario went something like this : In the pre-existence, certain of the spirits were set aside, in God's wisdom, to come to Earth through a lineage that was cursed and marked, first by Cain's fratricide and obeisance to Satan, and then again later by Ham's lèse majesté against his father Noah. We aren't exactly sure why this lineage was set apart in the pre-existence, but it was probably for reasons that do not reflect well on the premortal valiancy of the partakers of that lineage. Since the beginning, the holy priesthood has been withheld from all who have had any trace of that lineage, and so it shall be until all the rest of Adam's descendants have received the priesthood, or, for all practical purposes, throughout the mortal existence of humankind."

For some reason that particular topic has been on my mind of late. I've been reading a lot in 1-2 Nephi, and probably got tripped that way from the passages regarding the marks and cursings. So I've done some research. One of the better treatments of the subject I've found is here: http://www.blacklds.org/Perkins

In my personal study, I've come to the conclusion that there is no scriptural basis for withholding the priesthood from blacks. There were multiple black folk which were ordained in the early days of the church, and their ordination did not appear to become an issue until questions of Utah's statehood and the influx of Southern states converts to the Utah territory. As the political climate changed and the church was populated more heavily with those having a stake in the slave trade, things changed in the church as well as for Utah.

I don't wish to draw a lot of conclusions from my study yet; too easy to be wrong in inferring too much from the little I know. I have two conclusions at this point. First, that we, as a church, are taken from the greater population. As such, our biases and prejudices are influenced by the world at large that surrounds us. We are usually most influenced by those in our own country, more heavily by those in our state, even more heavily by those of our community and circle of friends. I know that the views of church members in The Netherlands regarding some topics were influenced by their form of government, for example. They did not pursue independent activity (owning businesses, fending for self, attitudes toward welfare programs and high taxation) in the same way that US based members do. They still live the gospel to its fullest, and yet there's a slightly different flavor to life, even in the church.

"In the Church we spend a lot of time "likening the scriptures unto ourselves," to use Nephi's phrase (1 Nephi 19:23).

This approach has the advantage of making the teachings of the scriptures and early Church leaders apply to us, so they become agents of change in our lives, rather than just artifacts to be studied in a detached way.

The disadvantage of this approach, though, is that it can build the perception that past prophets were "just like us" — having all the same assumptions, traditions, and beliefs. But this is not the case at all. Prophets in all dispensations have been "men of their times," who were raised with certain beliefs and interacted all their lives with others who shared those beliefs.

For example, the Old Testament peoples believed the earth was a flat expanse, with the sky a solid dome made out of a shiny, brass-like substance. But this was the way everyone understood things at that time, so we don't begrudge Isaiah and Ezekiel of speaking of the "four corners of the earth" (Isaiah 11:12; Ezekiel 7:2), or Job for thinking the sky was a mirror (Job 37:18), or the Psalmist for thinking the earth stood still while the sun went around it (Psalms 93:1; Psalms 19:4-6)." (From http://en.fairmormon.org/index.php?title=Racist_statements_by_Church_leaders)

In much the same way, history prior to the 1970s in this country had blacks relegated to anything but a full standing member of society. Mostly they were treated as property, as opposed to human at all. The standing of blacks in our country gradually improved over time from it's founding to the present day. There are still struggles made and freedoms gained even in this present day. It comes as no surprise (though to some disappointment) that we would be a simple cross section of the society in which we live.

The second is simply a restatement of earlier: I can't find scriptural evidence of why it should have been withheld, though I can find evidence of why it never should have been withheld. Nephi speaks continually and repeatedly of the gospel covenants being for all people. He does so in his own self-professed plain language. Paul, in writing to Philemon, encourages Onesimus (a slave) to be set free...not just treated well, but to exceed all expectation that Paul has in embracing this slave as a brother in the gospel in full fellowship, as though Onesimus were Paul himself (Philemon 1:17, 20-21). Paul knew what he asked of Philemon was a hard thing. Philemon was a convert, and a slave owner. To free Onesimus was to open a HUGE can of worms with the other slaves, and slave trade was an enormous market. That is a parallel we can draw to our recent history, regardless of what skin color Onesimus happened to have.

Finally, I'm glad that change the change has come. I'm grateful to understand it better, even if there is not an answer for all things. One of the things Jacob teaches in chapter 5, the allegory of the tame olive tree, is that the bad will not be removed out of us all at once, but rather that as we bring forth good and grow stronger in doing so, the bad will be removed from us. As such, it is time to have this false teaching swept away (verse 65).

From http://www.fairlds.org/FAIR_Conferences/2003_LDS_Church_and_the_Race_Issue.html:

"Much of the conventional "explanation" for the priesthood restriction was simply borrowed from the racist heritage of nineteenth-century Europe and America, especially from the slavery justifications of the antebellum South. Understandable--even forgivable--as such a resort might have been for our LDS ancestors, it is neither understandable nor forgivable in the twenty-first century. It is an unnecessary burden of misplaced apologetics that has been imposed by our history upon the universal and global aspirations of the Church. Until we dispense with it once and for all, it will continue to encumber the efforts of today's Church leaders and public affairs spokespersons to convince the world, and especially the black people of America, that the Church is for all God's children, "black and white, bond and free, male and female."

odds and ends

The school year has ended, and seminary with it. I feel it was a successful year. The last impression I have is of Thomas H. passing off not only the remains of his 25 scripture mastery passages, but also going about five deep into next year's curriculum. I'm so proud that he did it. The last memory I have of seminary is of one of my students succeeding in a meaningful way...what a pleasing last memory to have!

Since the school year has ended, I'm busily getting myself into too much birthday mode - too much of everything, even good things, can wear one out. I've started exercising again. Borrowed the P90X DVDs from a friend of mine. Those are some work. But I've gained three pounds in three weeks and added an inch to my chest. Those are lofty returns for a skinny guy like me. I do find it hard to eat enough of the right kind of calories. I started off using myfitnesspal.com, and I'm about to go back to it after a week off from tracking. I just hate the constant eating...I have to take in 3300 or so calories a day to gain weight, and limit my sugar intake while doing it. I can easily hit 3300...avoiding soda and junk foods to do so is the hard part. When I don't blow any of it on "empty" calories, I feel like I'm stuffing my face all day.

I'm happy to be home and seeing Maple and the kids more often. The little ones are on a bike riding kick this week, and Ash has learned to ride for real now. The younger ones are properly jealous and working toward the same abilities themselves. Hickory has insisted on the removal of his training wheels. Apple has learned to climb trees (with help), and constantly pesters me to go outside so she can climb. All of which sure beats playing the Wii. I love them all.

My Father's Day "gift" from my wife (her lack of input duly noted) was a year long pass to Page Belcher and Mohawk Park golf courses. 36 holes at each place. About half of the Mohawk layouts are good, and all of Page's facility is decent, so that's roughly three courses for a full year for $450. I spent just over $1000 in green's fees last year, so the pass is a welcome opportunity to play at more affordable rates. And I don't have to feel bad about playing a quick nine holes, as the cost is already sunk.

Softball has started up, and we're 4-0. I'm MUCH more physically fit this year than in years past. I'm feeling really, really good. My range is coming back, enough that I'm comfortable playing shortstop again, even. I'm never hurt or sore after games anymore, which is so nice. Being constantly hurt the last two summers was not fun at all.

Maple has been having more time for friends, which makes her happier. They have a girl's day or night every couple of weeks. I'm glad to see her making progress and enjoying herself so much when returning from their company. She also recently reached one of her fitness goals, and is down to her lowest weight in quite some time. I am proud of her! :D When it comes to fitness, being educated about what works and what does not is an important thing. She added some calorie tracking to her plan, and suddenly got off the plateau she was on by using the information wisely. Knowledge is power. :)

impressive, most impressive

As the year in seminary winds down, I have good remembrances coming to my mind of things taught and things learned this year.

This morning we had a tremendous lesson from a guest instructor on The Book of Hebrews. From ten seconds in, he had the kids hooked. I love lessons like that, where the children just can't wait to give their input. Might have had a lot to do with leading off the lesson with a Veggie Tales reference. :)

Congratulations to Joshua M., who finished memorizing the 25th and last scripture mastery passage for this year. He joins Mason K. as the first two done from the class. My expectation is that several others will get through all of them as well, and the push is for all of our regular attendees to do so.

scripture mastery hypocrisy!

In teaching seminary, I ask my students to master a set of verses from our course of study each year. This year is the new testament. As with most years, there are 25 "scripture mastery" verses.

In class, I teach that I don't worry about whether they are memorized, verbatim, but rather than the concepts are understood, they can explain them clearly, and can quote them "close enough".

In the interest of testing myself (so I'm not asking things of my students that I don't know well), I went to http://seminary.lds.org/scripture-mastery/, and hit the link for memorization. I then quizzed myself by seeing if I could type all 25 verses accurately, without help. I'm proud to report I was able to do 18 of the 25 exactly, and another 3 with only a minor miss on a phrase. So 21 of 25 to an acceptable level. The other four I'm able to teach, explain, and quote the bulk of, so there's not much work left to do on them.

***

In other news, I'm trying to get my check engine light fixed, finally. It's a minor problem, but I'm annoyed enough with it finally to do something about it.

odds and ends of life

I've been reading in first Nephi, trying to catch up to the three month read the Book of Mormon schedule on the I have a testimony blog. I've seen several things that are worth observing, but my most prominent feeling so far is that of identification with Laman and Lemuel. That's not something I thought I would say. :)

The feeling I have is that Laman and Lemuel weren't setting out to be "bad" people. Rather, they chose not to pursue the things of God, despite being exposed to that influence repeatedly and deeply. Not unlike those who grow up in the church, but because they rarely dig in and search, wind up not understanding their own upbringing and being even more hardened because of it. A deep understanding of the gospel is paramount to our ability to live it well when faced with adversity.

When I choose, it should be with real input from God via personal revelation rather than his presumed approval because I'm "good people, and surely God will bless me." If I don't understand his course, I'm less likely to follow it because I've only done my good, not his best.

***

Took a little time off this week over Spring Break. Played some golf (well, even), tried to hang out with the wife and children. I don't do that very well, sometimes. :( It really is an adjustment some days to go from work to time with family - the conversations are loud (as kids do), there's awkwardness in regaining familiarity, and it upsets the daily routine to have dad around during the day. All in all, it didn't go as well as I'd hoped. I was still glad to have tried - but I sometimes feel like a stranger in my own home. It takes a 2-3 days for me to get used to being there, and for them to start to cling to me like they do momma.

***

I carded an eagle on one of the par fives on Wednesday. 535 yards, went driver, 215 left for a seven wood, and one putt from 15 feet.

Next hole was a 185 yard par three. Ran a four hybrid over the hole to eight feet, just missing (yet again) a hole in one. The number of near misses I've had is staggering - half a dozen have finished inside six inches. Another dozen or so have run across the hole or lipped off to less than five feet. So that one didn't even qualify as close, really. :\

Shot 76 on the day.

two good things

I ran across two good things today:

First:

"If each and every one of us who are parents will reflect upon the responsibilities devolving upon us, we shall come to the conclusion that we should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do. We should set them an example that we wish them to imitate."
--Brigham Young (Journal of Discourses, 14:192.)

Second:

From here: http://i-have-a-testimony.blogspot.com/2009/03/inquire-and-youll-understand.html.

This morning we read 1Nephi 15. I started giggling after reading verse 3. Why? Well, I'll tell you.

I was just remembering every Sunday School or Relief Society lesson I've ever been in where Isaiah is mentioned. As soon as that great prophet's name is mentioned a few audible moans are heard, followed by grumblings and sometimes murmurings. Isaiah has been a stumbling block for many a Latter-day Saint. I've even heard some people admit that, when reading the Book of Mormon, they skip 2 Nephi just to avoid reading Isaiah.

Personally, I have always loved Isaiah. I had a wonderful seminary teacher, Brother K. Herbst, who, with a few small details, opened a greater understanding of Isaiah in my mind. I think I was also blessed with the gift of understanding in regards to the scriptures. Either way, I love Isaiah. But back to my giggling...

I started giggling because there, in 1 Nephi 15: 3, the chapters preceding Isaiah, Nephi tells us how to understand difficult things. He lays the path before us very simply and in a Very straightforward manner. But I hadn't really noticed it before. Not in this context.

The verse: "For he truly spake many great things unto them, which were hard to be understood, save a man should inquire of the Lord; and they being hard in their hearts, therefore they did not look unto the Lord as they ought."

I giggled because the answer to understanding Isaiah is simple. "Inquire of the Lord."

I giggled because the same people who moaned about Isaiah were the same people who, upon reading 1 Nephi chapter 15, condemned Laman and Lemuel for not asking the Lord.

There are many things within the scriptures that can be hard to understand. But I know that if we ask the Lord, He will help us. He did not want us to be lost and wandering. The whole point of the scriptures is to clearly point the way back to our Father in Heaven. And fortunately for us, our God is not a tricky and sneaky God. No. He is a loving and kind God who had set the path before us. The path is strait and narrow, but not impassable. Inquire of the Lord and you will find the way.

dad, the accidental hero

Dad turned 70 years old this past weekend. Happy birthday!

My dad has helped shape who I am. Few things or people have had as great an influence on me, and so I am very grateful for a loving father who has continually taught me well and lived as he taught.

I have not had the good fortune to see my parents sealed in the temple as yet - I still hope that day will come. However, I have had no lack for righteous example, either growing up in their home or at the present day. Mom has long described dad as a "gentle man", and that title could not be more fitting. My dad defines what it means to be a gentleman to me. He has been my hero for many years. He might say that his life just unfolded that way, but I know that he is not who he is by a series of lucky mistakes and pleasant happenings. He has lived a great life, has overcome much, and been a blessing to his posterity.

A related quote, on the topic of fatherhood:

"I remind you brethren who bear the Melchizedek Priesthood that the seed of the present is the harvest of the future. I urge you, as fathers and as priesthood leaders, to focus more attention on teaching, guiding, and shepherding these young men, especially by example. The Lord has given you that obligation. Remember, the lambs have little chance of following the right path if the shepherd goes astray." (emphasis mine) --Joseph B. Wirthlin, 1988 Fall Conference, "The Priesthood of God"

georgia on my mind

A couple of pictures from the trip to Georgia. The course we played was The Frog, just west of Atlanta. Took awhile to get there by car, but it was well worth the trip.

Naturally we did things other than golf as well. I'll add a handful of other photos later. Was well worth the trip, and it was good to see Clay and Sarah and their children. Turned out to be cheap for cost as well, which is a bonus.

On arriving home and getting up the next morning, Apple ate breakfast with me and we watched part of a movie snuggled up on the couch together. She's been fighting a cold since the day I left. It was good to see the children and my wife again.

odds and ends

Two days until the trip to Georgia with friends. I'm excited, probably a little too much so.

Read a good quote this weekend - first heard it in church on Sunday.

Boyd K. Packer, Conference Report 1991
"Inspiration comes more easily in peaceful settings. Such words as quiet, still, peaceable, Comforter abound in the scriptures...

"The world grows increasingly noisy. Clothing and grooming and conduct are looser and sloppier and more disheveled. Raucous music, with obscene lyrics blasted through amplifiers while lights flash psychedelic colors, characterizes the drug culture. Variations of these things are gaining wide acceptance and influence over our youth...

"This trend to more noise, more excitement, more contention, less restraint, less dignity, less formality is not coincidental nor innocent nor harmless.

"The first order issued by a commander mounting a military invasion is the jamming of the channels of communication of those he intends to conquer.

"Irreverence suits the purposes of the adversary by obstructing the delicate channels of revelation in both mind and spirit." (emphasis mine)
---

It is important to remember that the Lord controls revelation, how it will be given, to whom, and to what level. Most often, he chooses to work in small, quiet ways. If we are not tuned in to those ways, or are drowning them out with louder activities, we will be less likely to receive personal revelation.

1 Timothy 4:15
"Meditate upon these things; give thyself wholly to them;..."

I'm not suggesting "meditation" after the new age sense that we use it today, with yoga mats or scented candles or whatever. Only that time be taken using whatever means brings you closer to God, in quiet ways, that allows your thoughts to be whispered to for inspiration. If that includes yoga mats and candles, that's okay too. :)

seeking questions

Youtube link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtweZxNGk1Y

Nick Vujicic is an Australian without arms and without legs. Not with non-functioning limbs, but without limbs entirely.

One of my most vivid memories as a small child (not more than ten, because I remember we lived in Tahlequah when the event happened) was seeing a man without one arm (just a "flipper") play pool. We were at a party. A really crowded party. And I was amazed by this man, just transfixed, watching him balance the pool cue between his flipper shoulder and his chin, whilst shooting with his good arm. He was the best pool player I'd ever seen. Not saying much, cause I wasn't exactly a pool hall regular. But still, he was the first evidence I'd seen of a man overcoming something quite that big.

So here's Nick. He has no arms. He has no legs. Just a little flipper below one hip. And yeah, he can do cool physical stuff despite his limitations. Turns on lights with the aid of a putter. Goes swimming. Climbs stairs. But I'm not eight years old anymore. I've seen a one armed man play pool. I'm all jaded and worldly now. :) But Nick does something I haven't seen...not in many able bodied men, even. Nick freely bears testimony. Nick has an obvious love for his fellow man, for God who allowed his mortal life to be physically limited this way. Look at his face, and see a man at peace despite his nothingness before the world.

There are many excellent lessons to take from his testimony. I've heard new things with each listening. Among those things though, is that the seeking questions of his heart led him to God.

"What kind of hope and future can I have?
How can I hold my wife's hand?
How can I dance with my bride on our wedding night?
How will I be able to hold my children when they're crying?"

Those are seeking questions. They are not accusatory. They are not filled with blame. He had moved past his eight year old self, too - if God would not heal him, he would accept that. Not without a fight, I'm sure. He moved to the solving of the problems his condition presented. His first questions were seeking questions. How will the Lord do this? How will he accomplish his work with me? How will he keep and prosper me?

Clearly, those answers bring him peace. They lead him to proclaim despite his condition and despite no physical healing, "I stand before you today as a miracle of God."

Not because his life is different. He still only has a little flipper.

Not because God healed him when he was eight. This is no mere physical miracle.

Rather, because "circumstances do not need to change...its our heart that needs to be filled with the Holy Spirit." With love. With understanding, gained spiritually, of the plans God has for him and that they will come to pass.

The uncertainties of how, and what, have been replaced with the certainties of IS. WILL BE. AM. Each is reflected in his language.

True, earnest, seeking questions directed to God are what brought him there.

I saw another quote, this time on the ABC 20/20 website from an interview he granted with them last year. From ABC: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4531209

"The unanswered prayers he made as a child haven't left his mind, nor has he stopped praying occasionally for arms and legs.

'I totally surrender [the healing miracle] to God. I would be obviously elated if I had arms and legs right now ... but I know that God's in full control. And do I believe that He can give me arms and legs? Yes, sir ... The world doesn't understand how you can have these two parallel thoughts, where you can say, on one hand ... 'yes, I believe in the miracle,' and on the other ... say, 'You know what? I'm fully content. I'm not discouraged if He doesn't give me arms and legs.''

'That's where I am. That's the freedom and victory I have. I believe in a God who can do all things, but if He chooses not to give me arms and legs, I know it's for the better. And I may not understand it, but all I need to know is that He's going to carry me through, that there is a purpose for it.'"

Fits very nicely with the teachings of Christ.

ebay makes me cry

So I listed a laptop on ebay. That was my first mistake. I can see why people do the ebay thing full time, cause it's a pain in the rear to get something listed.

Once listed, I was exposed to all the world has to offer - quite literally. Foreign buyers galore asking all kinds of questions, wanting to know if I would ship overseas (I provided no overseas options for a reason), accept other payment methods like wire transfer (umm, how about no), if I could get the package to a certain location by X date (naturally not enough time for the payment to clear). *sigh*

On the plus side, hopefully the final buyer will complete payment and my one foray into ebay can finish a very educational death. Craigslist is paradise by comparison. At least there I'm offered a straight up trade for a used mattress or an old single room air conditioner...you know, something of real value.

scriptures that speak

I like talented people that can make the scriptures come alive. A few weeks ago, I read the Gerald Lund series The Kingdom and the Crown. Good stuff. He has an unusual ability to put ancient things into a context that has meaning today. Much of it comes in thorough explanations of the traditions and customs of that time. It lends fullness and humanity to our view of those the came before us.

In seminary this morning, we talked about Jesus' role as The Good Shepherd (John 10). That parable is unusual in that Jesus is represented by two things in the parable, as opposed to the usual one - he is both the shepherd and the door of entry into the sheepfold (pen). While I don't have the gift for putting those things in context, I did begin to see the more deep symbolism in a different way than I did when I first read the chapter. As the door, Jesus is the way in which we must enter. And so our thoughts naturally go to the difficulty of the straight and narrow. But a door is also a protection from the outside, just as the door to your home is locked at night...it's there to not only let you in, but to keep others out. Jesus stands as a guardian for us, and as long as we choose to enter in, then he will make sure we are kept safe as we feed and find rest.

I'm thankful for those times that the scriptures speak to me in a way that gives clear visualization of a principle.

it's good to be on the way back

Today I was fortunate enough to play a round of golf with a friend. It was slow going, being 75* and sunny in January it seemed everyone in town was looking to play. But we did, and I hit the ball well. That's several rounds now since I discovered what was the matter with my swing and began to do otherwise. (Note: there's nothing like a swing that is more technically sound but doesn't produce. I looked great on video, but ball flight was awful). Hitting it well doesn't always translate to score, and my lack of practice translates rapidly to a rusty short game. But certainly after a frustrating couple of years of hitting the ball poorly, I'm ready to stripe a few again, even if the rest of my game has fallen off at the most inopportune of times.

My drives on 17 and 18 (the wind had finally died to near zero) were both things of beauty, at least for a golfer. 17 plays 420 yards, I had 125 left to a frontish pin, so 285 total. 18 plays 515, I had 210 left to a solidly middle pin - 305 for a final tally. Both were crushed and dead center of the clubface. I thought the one on 17 was about as good as it gets, but the shot on 18 was just that little bit sweeter. I love the feel of true flushed and centered contact shooting up the forearms. Ended up closing out with a three foot birdie putt that dropped. Yay.

Likewise, I am happy that my Lora is "on the way back". She finished the composition of a poem today, and read it to me when I returned. She has such a special talent for poetry, and I'm grateful she feels the desire to be about those things again. Life is good.

i am a crazy golfer

I am one of those crazy golfer people.

Several friends and I have a tradition of golf on New Year's Day. Some of the courses around here are closed that day, but the pro shop will quietly concede to letting groups play without supervision and without carts. And so we did. Golf is meant to be played without carts anyway - one of my peeves.

Tee time this morning: 35 degrees, with a 15mph wind. Felt like 25. Not the worst, but definitely no picnic. I enjoyed it. But...

I also had a new top secret secret weapon: my Under Armour style cold weather undies (fleece lined compression pants and shirt). Mine are by Starter (Nike), bought on the cheap at Walmart. I love them! Definitely a great golf investment. At 45*, I should be able to play in comfort and without many extra layers. Extra layers (especially thicker ones) are doom for a golf swing. Today's lower half was just the compression pants and a pair of jeans. Upper half was the undershirt, a turtleneck, and a long sleeve golf shirt. I wore a fleece beanie and took my jacket off for shots - as it warmed up to 40, I left it off.

So I shot an ugly +6 that should have been closer to +3, save for poor putting and general freezy butt coldness - the greens were still frozen early on. Warm undies can't fix putting. :(

Lora says the undies give me the look of a really hot woman's butt. I'm not sure what to make of that. At least I have one now, where I didn't growing up. :\

debt and dave

I was glad for a day off work today. I am in need of several more, but instead I will put my head down and work.

I was thinking quite a bit today. It's been almost a year since we finished our debt free plan, due much to the inspiration of my family and the messages of Marvin Ashton and Dave Ramsey, and the support of my bride. This has been the most peaceful year of my life. I believe I have done more good and made a better self this year than in many others combined, and I believe that to be due to the lack of conflict I feel in my life.

Previously, I felt as all of us do, that there is an either/or mode to life. Either you can be with your family, or you can make enough money. Either you can do what you want and expect the consequence of lack of work (and compensation), or you can work hard but get less enjoyment. And as with all things, there is a balance to be struck, even now. But I have to choose a lot less frequently now. I can leave consulting behind and enjoy my family and teach seminary for teenagers and still have more than enough to meet my needs. It's because I control my money now, rather than letting my choices with money enslave my future labor. Debt is a claim on future human labor. Being debt free means I am not forced to labor.

I wish more families at church (and elsewhere! This is something I desire for everyone) would catch the vision of being debt free and the peace that it brings. During the last six months, we have depleted much of our savings because of the happenings of life - helping family, repairing sewer lines, and that kind of thing. Thousands upon thousands have passed through to another destination, but I felt the peace of having prepared. So often we forget that the bad stuff is part of the plan, too - it still hurts, but after scratching the check, it is forgotten.

Lora shared a scripture with me yesterday. It applies to many things in life, but also readily to this topic. A piece of it says the following:

2 Nephi 9:41
...Remember that his paths are righteous. Behold, the way for man is narrow, but it lieth in a straight course before him...

So often we find The Straight and Narrow to be The Scary and Hard and Demanding and Not Fun and Why Bother. But it is not. It is plain. It is laid before us. All that is left is the choosing. Being debt free is plain. It requires sacrifice and effort and choice(s) to follow, but it lieth in a straight course before us.

Dave Ramsey - www.daveramsey.com
Chris Martenson - www.chrismartenson.com