Redwood hates underwear

If there's one thing everybody agrees on about Redwood, it's that he's about as funny as a boy can be.

If there's one thing nobody knows about Redwood, it's that he hates underwear. The boy goes commando everywhere, it seems. We ALWAYS have to ask whether he has undies on right before he goes out the door for school. And in the past, sometimes, he'd lie to us...so we'd have to check.

Naturally, item #1 to come off when he gets home from school is the underoos. Off the bus, down the block, through the door, to the bedroom, strip down, put on shorts. The kid is a polar bear at heart, wears nothing but a pair of shorts around the house almost without regard to how cold or warm it is.

So early this week, Maple hears singing coming from down the hall right after Redwood gets home from school. She walks quietly down there, peeks around his bedroom door frame, and sees Captain Commando dancing around his room in just his shorts singing, "I'm too sexy for my shirt, too sexy for my shirt, so sexy it huuuuuurrrtts!"

He's mortified at having been caught, and Maple asks him where he learned that song and whether he knows what it means. Naturally from school, and no, he has no idea what sexy means.

Long story short, attempt #1 to explain "sexy" to an eight year old fails. The task then falls to me on my return home from work. So, trying to play it low key, I settle down next to him in the living room as he's playing a computer game and get his attention focused on me.

Me: "Hey Redwood...I heard Mom caught you singing a funny song today after school."
Redwood: "Yup. I was just dancing."
Me: "Yeah, Mom said it was pretty funny. She also said you might need to know what sexy means."
Redwood: "Yeah, she tried to explain it. I still don't really understand."
...

[insert two minutes of trying to explain the meaning of "sexy" in eight year old terms. We finally get to the point where he knows that it means something like "physically desirable" in eight year old language]

...
Me: "So the guy in the song, when he's singing, he's saying he's too sexy, too attractive, too physically desirable to even be constrained by his clothes."

Redwood: "Yeah, that's why I don't wear underwear."

Just as 2 > 1, so...

craigslist > ebay

pfsense > sonicwall

chocolate > vanilla

barebones nerd kit > consumer grade kit

Five Things

The five blessings I've received from _____________.

Increasing my scripture study:

1. A much better understanding of HOW the spirit speaks to me, and exactly what revelation from God looks, sounds, and feels like.
2. Calmness regarding "controversial" topics of the gospel. To the honest and earnest seeker, there is will be an answer.
3. An understanding of why a good cross-reference system is so important.
4. The food pyramid analogy that has served me so well and kept me from easy (and often incorrect) interpretation.
5. A greater understanding of what it means to be happy and content in a place of struggle and strife.

Increased physical conditioning:

1. No more shoulder pains. Which means no more sissy graphite shafts in my irons for golf. :)
2. No more lower back pain.
   
3. No more nagging muscle tears and associated injuries. I played softball without pain and it was GREAT.
4. Looking better in my clothes. I bought new jeans because my legs and butt got bigger. They fit nicer, as do most of the clothes I already owned. I look better out of my clothes too, which Maple appreciates. :)
5. More stamina for work and fun. I like being able to run around with my kids in the yard and make them all huff and puff while trying to catch me. Not bad for a guy closing in on 40.

Being married:

1. Having Maple in my life. She has been a great blessing to me in many ways, but of special mention is the calming influence that she has on me.
2. My children. I can't even get started on this, because I'd never stop. All of them, each one, deserves many paragraphs. From Apple's impish ways through Ash's stoic example, all of them bring me a smile.
3. Working toward a common goal, building lives together and improving surroundings. Something as simple as new windows brings excitement for the future.
4. Opportunities to serve that come to me. They allow me to show my love for Maple.
5. Being married to maple brings me contentment, and contributes to the happiness I feel in spite of the sometimes unhappy surroundings of life. Much like #5 from scripture study.
   

P90X 90th Day Results

Chest/Back (jacket size): +3.25"
Waist: -1"
Thighs: +1.75"
Calves: +1"
Upper arm: +1.5"
Forearm: +1"

Weight: +11 lbs, 171 to 182

Body fat estimate (caliper method): 13%

In short, it works. I still look like me, just a little more filled out.

The biggest changes come in the last 30 days of the program, and I was hampered by being out of town frequently and developing plantar fasciitis. I'm going to keep going for another 30 days to see what my "proper" results would be.

Program review wise, I'm pleased with it. The workouts are still hard to do even now, mostly because I've increased weight and reps to match my abilities. Here's my observations:

• It's the a good season-to-taste workout, because those of lower ability levels can simply do what they can, while those in great shape can push for more. It's definitely a general fitness program, not something geared toward "just" weight loss or "just" muscle building.
  
• Guys who are only looking to bulk up are going to be disappointed. A guy looking to get in overall better shape will be happy. Again, think FIT. There's still some ways to squeeze more bulk out of the program, but it has to be modified a little bit to accentuate that desire - and it's still not the same as hitting the gym specifically for heavy lifting work.
  
• Women though...that's really the largest target audience, I think. Take a woman who is in good physical shape already, put her through this, and she'll get HOT in no time. The balance of cardio, stretching, and weight resistance can easily be modified to get really, really good results for someone looking to get toned with a little bit more muscle while burning a lot of fat.
• As always, it's generally much easier to drop fat than to add muscle. This thing will burn fat if the diet of the person using it is right. Gaining weight, as I did, is A LOT of work.

The three things I added to be successful:

1. Used myfitnesspal.com to track caloric intake, broken down by fat/protein/carbs.
2. Protein supplement - switched to BSN's Syntha-6, which really, honestly, tastes good. Every other protein I've tried has tasted horrible.
   
3. Twinlabs amino fuel. Recent addition, but I get less fatigue the next day when I take it ~15-30 minutes before a workout.
   

randomized babblings

Have finished reading a book I bought about three weeks ago, 1491 by Charles Mann. In it, a very different picture is painted of the cultures of North and South America before Columbus (and their subsequent demise) than we receive in US public education. The revised picture is one of widespread populations (hearing Carl Sagan saying "millions and millions") which actively shaped land and environment. All in all, an excellent (if slightly zzzzzzzz inducing) read which gives a new appreciation for the prior inhabitants of the two continents. I took it slow and methodical - there's a lot of information to digest, and while the author does make it as exciting as he can, the subject matter is "documentary in print"-like in nature.

There have been some speculations on other blogs that this work might (accidentally) represent some validations for the Book of Mormon. While it probably does, I'd say it raises at least as many questions about the possibility of pinning the events in the Book of Mormon to any one pre-AD1500 culture specifically. So in broad application, the material is very supportive, but to anyone wishing to "prove" the Book of Mormon account truthful by identifying a specific pre-Columbian civilization, I don't think there will be much luck.

***

I love the days when every so often, I hit my second wind right at workout time. Makes me feel like I can do anything. I always wonder why it feels like that so rarely - most days I'm wishing for death very early on, despite doing my routine at the same time and in the same ways each time. Last night I not only did everything, but did it with considerably higher weight than usual. So much of exercise is mental. I just wish I could bottle up whatever I had going on last night. :)

***

Have I mentioned that I hate computers lately? This is bad for somebody who works in the computer field...

Also hating plantar fasciitis. Not cool.

On the plus side, loving my beautiful wife.

Also happy that new windows will be coming to our home soon. Signed the contract for that this past week. No more freezy cold beds by the windows in winter. :)

***

Doing more reading on the curses/marks topic. The more deeply I get immersed in it, the more I realize how flawed our "easy" interpretations of the scriptures lead us to be.

golf course + kids = ???

So I'm officially at the lowest handicap index I've ever had, 3.8. Previous low was 4.3, reached several times. Even worse, there are still a couple of high scores that are about to drop off, so it may crawl a bit lower before coming back to reality.

I took Redwood and Apple out to the golf course on Saturday, which was fun. They did great through the first half dozen holes or so - after that it got a bit hairy. Kids have impeccable timing for saying something crazy or making an odd noise right in the middle of teeing off. I love the sound of the gas pedal being pushed on the golf cart by a four year old girl right as I start my takeaway, don't you? I caught them before they rolled down the hill, but still...nothing like immediate fear of death for your children to make you flinch. :\

Apple found a few things this time - some flowers, a few squirrels. Redwood chased some geese, which he found hysterical. He also hit some really good golf shots - just a natural talent, it appears. He set up what he calls his "shot of doom" and would try to pull it off. That means hitting over a creek, or over a sand trap, or what have you. He executed the shot an alarmingly high percentage of time the for never having been outside of his own backyard with a golf club. The last thing we saw on the way back to the clubhouse (after 14 holes) were two baby deer...very young. Didn't see their momma though. The kids were tired and sweaty - they had fun, but were all done.

exercise update

I've been doing the P90X DVDs for six weeks now, thanks to a friend lending them to me.

In that six weeks, I've gained seven pounds. I've lost fat, gained muscle, and am generally just more studly than ever. :) I did one of the videos last night, Legs & Back, and was able to do 15 real, honest to goodness pullups with no assistance in one go. So in six weeks I've gone from eeking out #2 all the way to 15. Pushups...I can do 25 in one go, and probably more if I had to. My body is starting to show signs of change, I'm getting a V shape from my back and shoulder muscle group improvements.

All in all, I'm very pleased and proud of myself for sticking with it and working hard.